Bad Karma in Laos :0(

So the bus arrived pretty much on time which is strange for Laos and I’m not sure what happened but our bad luck started as soon as we got off the bus. The bus itself was really cool – a sleeper and unlike the ones in Vietnam it was actually a bed! A fully flat bed with a mattress, pillows and a blanket and it was very comfy, albeit a little on the small side for the 2 of us and very bumpy but luxurious compared to some buses.

Anyway we arrived at 6am and it’s always disorientating when all of a sudden everyone’s moving and getting up and the lights come on and you have to get all your stuff together and off the bus. We always do a check check double check and thought we had everything but as we were headed out into town on the tuk tuk I suddenly realized I didn’t have my cowboy hat! It’d had been left on the rack above the bed which was annoying as Tymon had checked and got my jumper which had been up there as well, but it was too late to go back so I lost it! :0( (Although if I’m honest I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner!) As we drive through the streets it was quite nice to be surrounded by the trappings of a big city again. We picked a central point in town and got off next to a street stall and sat down to have breakfast before looking around for a hostel. We had chicken noodle soup which is the local breakfast all over Asia and usually I have to stick to a ‘normalish’ kind of breakfast for my first meal of the day like baguette with cheese or omelet, but seeing as we didn’t have dinner the night before on the bus it went down rather well.

After settling into our startlingly expensive hotel (the price for one night would have got us 5 nights in 4000 islands and Bolaven) we chilled for a while trying to get the internet sorted (one of the reasons we had paid so much as it had Wifi) which of course then crashed, before walking into town and hiring a bike to have a look around. Our first task was going to the embassy to get our Thai visa, so off we went. It was very hot in Vientiane and what can I say – it doesn’t really have a great deal to offer sights wise. Although some of the streets are quaint with nice restaurants and shops. We followed the map we’d been given to the Consulate only to have the gate shut in our face by the security guard who told us rather sharply to go the NEW consulate! When Tymon tried to cross the gate line to ask him another question I thought he was going to attack him! Haha. So we headed to the NEW consulate and locked up our bikes before coming face to face with the sign at the gate which said ‘Closed’! We were 1.5 hours too late for visa applications and as it was Friday we would have to wait until Monday! Damn this whole ‘enjoying life so much you don’t know what day it is!’ Sometimes for stuff like this it helps to know what day you are living! We definitely didn’t want to be in Vientiane for 5 days as we would have to wait 2 days while the visa was processed so after some cursing that we had sat in our hotel room all morning and then gone for lunch before going to the Consulate we decided to leave the next day for Vang Vieng – the tubing capital of Laos. We would spend 3 or 4 days there and then get the bus back down to Vientiane to get our visa. It would be a complete pain in the ass as it meant doubling back on ourselves but it still beat hanging around doing nothing in the expensive city! Bad luck number 2 – complete!

So Vang Vieng. Geologically it’s a beautiful place sitting next to the Nam Song river surrounded by limestone cliffs creating a really dramatic landscape. But Vang Vieng is like the Magalluff of Majorca. Absolutely choca with tourists – mainly from the UK, aged from about 21-28. Most have ended up staying for about 5 weeks ‘working’ for the bars on the tubing river. The town is absolute madness, and oozes cheesiness and drunks and druggies and western bars with TV screens playing constant episodes of Friends or Family Guy or The Simpsons with everyone monged out in front of them. Its main attraction is the tubing which has become a bit of an institution in Laos and is on-route on a busy main road connecting Vientiane with Northern Laos. We knew before going that it was basically all about the tubing and getting drunk which is fine – we’re not that old yet! We arrived just after dark so found a hostel – again with supposed wifi as we were desperately trying to update videos and photos and spent our first day just chilling around town and getting our bearings. It actually seemed really quiet, even in the evenings and not the onslaught I thought it was going to be. However, as we found out over the next few days we were simply not going to the right place.

So the day came for us to go tubing. Most people were saying that as it’s dry season and the water levels are so low it’s not worth the EUR 5 to hire a tube (which is actually a lot of money in Laos considering you can get 2 nights accommodation for that money!) But we wanted to get them so we headed out to the river in a tuk tuk. When we arrived however we find out that you get the tubes back in town!! Bugger! So we went without in the end anyway. When you arrive you can hear the music blaring coming from about 4 different bars. When I say bars I mean make shift platforms on the side of the river. There are 4 bars all within 100 metres of each other in the first section of the river and basically not many people make it past there. That day we made it to bar number 3! We met up with these 2 lovely and crazy Australian girls and started drinking buckets with them. Did you know that in Laos a bottle of Whiskey (local obviously) is cheaper than a bottle of water!!? The buckets were lethal and let’s just say that by the end of the day as the sun went down we were feeling a little worse for wear! But it was also at this point that our bad karma and bad luck number 3 incident comes in. Tymon went to the toilet and when he came back we piled into the tuk tuk ready to stumble back into town for some food and dare I say it more drinks. However, as we set off we started looking for the money that we had brought out with us and realized that the money pouch was gone – as was our camera!! We were too far to go back and too full in the tuk tuk so we basically had to come to terms with the fact that we had lost the camera. And that was basically night over. I was devastated – crying and annoyed at Tymon who had had the bag the whole time. It was a water tight clip bag and I just had no idea how someone could have gotten into it. Anyway we had a big hoo har, I was crying and of course it was all made 10 times worse cos of the drink but it was a really BAD night! I couldn’t believe we had lost the camera and to make matters even worse - I hadn’t backed up since we had arrived in Laos so we lost everything! 4000 Islands and Paddy’s Day (all Tymon’s amazing artwork!) and him playing with the local kids, the Bolaven Plateau and our bike trip and of course the antics of the day itself at the river with us zip lining into the water and going off massive swings and drunken shenanigans. Oh still I want to kill someone – I mean take the camera, ask me for money if that’s what you want but come on!! Gutted – soooo sooooo gutted!! The next morning as we came to Tymon seemed to remember the only logical time it could have happened which was just at the last minute as he went to the toilet before we left. It was dark by then and you had to climb up some wooden stairs and he remembers being helped up the stairs by some locals. We think it was at this point that they pick pocketed the bag and took the money and the camera. There was just no other time it could have happened. I had had the camera around me most of the day and now of course all I can think is - why didn’t I just keep the camera on me! So we reckon it was locals that did it and I wanted to seriously hurt someone! But the worse was yet to come!

Later that day once we felt a little human we went to the tourist police to report it stolen as we needed that for our insurance and guess what? They wouldn’t write the report! They basically turned around and said it was our own fault, we were drunk and stupid and they didn’t believe us. But they could have nearly had me on murder charges I was sooooooo FUMING!! I mean how bloody dare they! It’s not like they have to pay for it! And they were sooooo rude. They are a complete joke being there as they don’t do ANYTHING apart from sit on their asses all day and sleep. (We actually had to come back once because they were fast asleep undressed!) Arrrgggh even now I’m gritting my teeth and getting pissed off again! They told us we had to go back to Vientiane which we just didn’t want to do in the end as it was so far to double back on ourselves and we had decided to get out Thai visa at the border (which has led to a whole another debacle – it’s just gone on and on like dominoes!)

So we had to let it go and try and enjoy our time in Vang Vieng hoping that the insurance will work itself out. We reckon that it was because we said it was locals and they don’t want a bad image arising of the locals – B*stards – the lot of them!

Anyway - the next day we hired a bike and went out and about to the caves and lagoons that surround the area. All the guide books talk about the Blue Lagoon and caves which had pools in where you can swim, as the first one advertised so in we went to the gate where a couple of people were sitting charging to go further to the cave and walk through the land. It was quite a lot as well considering it’s not like they built the damn thing or even owned it! So Tymon made a comment about that and they seemed to just look at us and not understand what we were saying. So we went in anyway. What a waste of time – the walk was nice enough and then we had to climb up some rocks rather vicariously to the top and then walk in about 50 metres into this ‘cave’. It was a joke. So we climbed back down to head on the next. As we were back on the main dirt track Tymon all of a sudden slowed down saying that our petrol had gone. We had just filled up to a full tank before we left and we were now missing half a tank at least! We got off and checked the bike to see if it could be a leak but there was no trace or track of it being that. When it dawned on us. The b*stards at the cave siphoned out our petrol. No wonder there were all smiley and looking at us as we left! We realized that the seat to the bike was pretty much lift upable so you could easily get to the cap. God it was like another blow and things were just going form bad to worse. And the day did get even worse! We finally, after going to 3 other supposed Blue Lagoons and paying for each big fat disappointment, found the right one. We’d met on the road some Dutchies who were also trying to find it so we were riding with them as they were really nice and it was actually really lovely. The water was an electric blue – even if it wasn’t in the cave but outside at the bottom and it was really refreshing. So after some frolicking we decided to climb up to the top of the cave and go and have a look at the sleeping Buddha. It was a really steep climb up and we were quite away away from the Buddha as it was on the other side of the cave. I was looking around and decided to try and get to the Buddha and there didn’t seem to be any obvious path to get there so I climb up onto this big rock and started sliding down it on my bum which would bring me to a plateau where there then seemed to be a route to get to the Buddha. As I was nearing the bottom it all went pear shaped! All of a sudden I lost my footing and stumbled forward and the next thing I know I am falling down a hole. I screamed and tried to grab onto some rocks infront of me but down I went. The only thing that went through my mind along with my heart in my mouth was ‘how far am I going to fall?’ I swear it was the worst seconds of my life and thankfully by the time that thought had gone through my mind I had hit the bottom. I must have only fallen 2 metres or so but it was pitch black and I just had no idea how deep the hole was. I was lucky also that I hit a flat bottom and there wasn’t any rocks protruding otherwise I could have landed and easily have broken something. I sat at the bottom of this hole for a few seconds and I could hear the guys shouting my name and Tymon calling me. I responded and saw the light (haha) from another hole so crawled along to get out of the hole. Tymon was clambering down to me and I was shaking so much. He helped me up and I looked at my fingers which really hurt with the torch and could see they were all cut open and the skin had come off. We poured some water over them and wrapped some tissue around them so I could climb out easier. The whole thing was a mess and I was sooooo lucky – it could have been a lot worse. I mean we climbed up a steep hill to get to the cave for about 10 minutes and if the hole had been to the bottom that would have been the end of me (just to sound even more dramatic) and infact when Tymon went back down to go to the Buddha he said that right next to where I fell was another hole down a crevice which was about 5 metres deep and if I had fallen down there who knows what would have happened! So I slowly and shakily climbed all the way back down to the bottom before heading home to sort out my wounds.

Now I am a big baby when it comes to pain and cuts, I really am and if you want proof just ask Tymon how bad I was. I was crying and wouldn’t let him touch the cuts and he brought some iodine and got out the first aid kit and wrapped them up in gauze but I was petrified, especially of the iodine as I thought it was going to sting like hell, but actually it didn’t! There was a lot of dirt in them as well and over the next few days Tymon brought some alcohol and made me run a cotton swap over and through the cuts with the alcohol. Again more crying and hysterics – I wouldn’t let him do it and when he did one time I was sobbing! Haha. Drama drama drama! I was sure they were going to get infected and was really worried as we had booked to do the Gibbon Experience in a weeks time which was zip lining and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do it but you know what I was amazed at how quickly my fingertips healed. Within a week they scabbed up and dried up & I cut away all the dead skin and dirt with the nail clippers and by the time we got to the Gibbon they were fine. No infections no nothing – just a lot of whinging!! :0)

So all in Vang Vieng was a complete nightmare for us! We did have a good time as we met some great people but it had a big cloud over it and after 5 days we were more than ready to get the hell out of there! The people and atmosphere is only tolerable for that long max!

Next stop Luang Prabang followed by Huay Xai and the Gibbon Experience before crossing over to Thailand. I’m going to put that in another blog as this is already quite long!!

Hugs and kisses from us both.
xxx